Seriously. WTF.

Mega Man 2 is the EASIEST Mega Man game EVER MADE. Yet the fools over at IGN make it a point in their review of Mega Man 9 to not only infer, but outright SAY that “Mega Man 9 is as hard as Mega Man 2.” So, are you saying that the game is RETARDEDLY EASY and you can kill SIX of the robot masters with a single shot from a particular robot master? to suggest that Mega Man 2 was in any way, shape or form difficult is a gross insult to the franchise. Mega Man was harder, and Mega Man 3 was probably the HARDEST game in the franchise, what with fighting EIGHT robot masters (with dubious weaknesses), then you get to fight all EIGHT robot masters from Mega Man 2, with NO weaknesses (because you do not also acquire their powers again, so no advantage from the NEW robot masters), plus you had GRUELING stages filled with cheap-one-shots, pit traps galore, massive swarms of enemies moving at such high velocity they make the screen blink incessantly, fighting Proto Man at each mid-stage and pretty much instant death around every corner. but you want me to believe Mega Man 2 was harder? Gimmie a motherfucking break. I mean, some folks go as far as to say that the Quickman stage is the most difficult in the Mega Man franchise. What? Dodging death beams? I picked up the 20th Anniversary collection about 3 years ago for GameCube. Even with the WRONG controller and not having played Mega Man 2 for almost TWENTY YEARS, I could STILL ace the death beams in the Quickman stage in under 4 mins. Without Flashman. Quickman is my first robot master when I dust off MM2, pussies. Seriously.

So, I guess I am to infer that all of the new Mega Man games are as pussified as Mega Man 2, if we are holding that up as the standard for “hard”. Clearly, nobody ever fucked around with the Gemini Man stage. Mega Man’s 4-6? Never completed them, though. they weren’t HARD. they were just TEDIOUS. Because the “final” stages were basically divided into 16 stages with no password save function. You put in the password you get after getting to Dr. Wily in Mega Man 4, and the cocksucker sends you back to the beginning of Dr. COSSACK’S castle. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Pfft. Mega Man 2 is the hardest Mega Man game. Whew. Let me know when you kids are ready for me to wipe your noses and tuck you in to sleep with a sweet lullaby, because you are NOT real gamers if you think Mega Man 2 was hard.

~Mac